The Mirror have suggested that Simon Cowell is plotting to inflict his X Factor franchise on the West End with X Factor – The Musical. Harry Hill is said to be writing the book and Steve Brown (the man who wrote the Wonky Donkey jingle for Ant & Dec) is apparently working on the music.

The mysterious “source close to the meetings” had this to say about the whole tawdry affair: “Simon is excited by the idea of taking The X Factor brand on to the London stage.

“He is looking at great new songs and some laughter. It would be a perfect night out for ­X Factor fans and former stars of the show could be involved in it.” Steve Brown – who produced Rumer’s hit album last year and has also created hilarious comic songs for Ant and Dec – is already coming up with ideas for music.”

I’m struggling to understand how this musical could possibly work. Cowell allegedly wants comedy, but how can he achieve this without poking fun at The X Factor, his most lucrative creation? If not a parody of itself, then all this musical could ever possibly be is a cynical way for X Factor bosses to wring a few last quid out of the washed-up likes of Steve Brookstein and Leon Jackson?

After all, I’m sure that Brookstein would rather be performing in the West End than at a 310-seater arts centre boasting a programme including “a musical celebration of Network Rail’s £67M revamp of the North Cotswold Line” (that’s not made up, that really is where his next gig is).

Perhaps, as someone who has boycotted The X Factor since the glorious Sharon Osbourne was replaced by that Australian robot lady, I’ve missed the point. Maybe there’s some relationship between the judges that would make a good musical, or maybe it’ll be about an aspiring singer who ‘makes it’ thanks to the show? I have no idea.

Of course, this is all academic. X Factor – The Musical can’t possibly happen, can it?

And just for fun, here’s the Wonky Donkey song.

Following the usual charade of separating the wheat from the chaff, the finalists have been decided upon and the live shows are already in full swing.

The X Factor is back

In true reality TV style we have already seen plenty of drama what with Gamu Nhengu not making the final twelve and Wagner Carrilho being invited back to the live shows as a “wild card” act. Nevertheless, despite all the fuss of recent weeks, things look set to hot up even more as acts are sent packing back to their day jobs.

Being voted off The X Factor, however, is often not the worst thing in the world for the budding superstars as the success of past contestants has shown. Diana Vickers, Ray Quinn, Lucie Jones, Niki Evans and Brenda Evans were all booted off The X Factor and went on to enjoy highly-acclaimed runs in top West End shows.

While others fade away, never to be heard of again (Steve Brookstein), others manage to make something of themselves. So who amongst this year’s rabble is a potential West End star and what roles would they suit the most?

Nicolo Festa

Italian stud, Nicolo Festa may have been the first to be voted off of the live shows but I doubt it is the last we will hear of him. Confident and arrogant but with a certain charm, Festa has the raw qualities to make a perfect Warner Huntington III in Legally Blonde the Musical. A role played by big-named stars such as Duncan James and Richard Fleeshman (currently dazzling audiences at the Savoy Theatre), this is no easy role to crack, however, if a West End run is imminent this seems the perfect part for Festa.

Aiden Grimshaw

Aiden Grimshaw has so far proved a very popular contestant on the X Factor and his rendition of Mad World got the judges quite excited. My bets are that he will do very well in the competition, but if he doesn’t make it as the winner he sure does fit the bill for many a West End role. It may ruin his clean-cut look, but put him in a leather jacket, add a more-than-normal amount of hair gel to his mop and, he could play Danny Zuko in Grease the musical.

I also can’t help but think that Grimshaw would make a superb Marius in Les Misérables. He has already shown an incredible passion in his singing and would have many an actress longing to play the role of Cosette.

Treyc Cohen

Invited back as a wild card act, Treyc had a lot to prove on the first live show, however, she came back into the competition with a bang singing One. After being rejected from the judges homes once before, Treyc has definitely grown in talent and has shown her sheer determination. If this is not her year to win the record deal to die for she would be fantastic as Elphaba in the hit West End show Wicked the Musical, a role currently played by Rachel Tucker, a fellow reality show contestant. Her powerful voice and impressive vocal range would sound great on the London stage.

Mary Byrne

Mary Byrne is one of my favourite acts in the competition and her confident performance of It’s A Man’s World on the first live show proved that she is definitely a strong contender. A powerful singer with great stage presence, I can see her playing the role of Mama Morton in Chicago the Musical. She would be absolutely fantastic belting out numbers like When You’re Good To Mama and could definitely portray the strong-willed nature of one of the West End’s well-loved characters.

John Adeleye

John Adeleye sang One Sweet Day on the opening night of the live shows, which showed off his very impressive voice. It was his judges house audition where he sang Billionaire, however, which really impressed me and made me think that should his X Factor dream come to an end he would make a brilliant Billy Flynn in Chicago the Musical. Although he looks young for his age, he has real charisma and a sparkle in his eye that is just perfect for the notorious lawyer who can razzle dazzle any audience.

Storm Lee

Who could forget Storm Lee. First Simon Cowell refused to call him Storm, then the wacky contestant dyed his hair bright red. He is certainly good at standing out in a crowd and is our resident rocker. A fan of acts such as Annie Lennox and The Police, Storm is actually a very talented singer and is sure of the genre he belongs to. It is for this reason that I think he would be fabulous in We Will Rock You London, perhaps as Galileo, the man who could potentially revive rock in the very scheduled and restrictive Ga Ga world.

Katie Waissel

Katie Waissel has caused a huge stir since her first audition, forgetting her lines on multiple occasions and coming under fire for being chosen as a finalist over Gamu. While I feel nervous watching her, I have no doubt that she is the sort of drama queen that will succeed somewhere along the line and become great if she just chills out. If she were to hit the West End, I could see her as Sandy in Grease the musical or maybe the leading lady in Sweet Charity. Under all the bad press, I don’t think we have seen the best of Waissel yet, so be sure to see what happens over the following weeks.

Cher Lloyd

After stunning the judges in her first audition with a brilliant rendition of Keri Hilson’s Turn My Swag On, Lloyd also battled with her nerves, but with a few years under her belt, I think she could make a good Rizzo in Grease the musical. At her best, she performs with a lot of attitude and has some pretty dramatic facial expressions which could work very well on the big stage. She is still young, so give her time and we may see more of Miss Lloyd.

Wagner Carrilho

Wagner, Wagner Wagner, I sort of love to hate the Brazilian PE teacher, as it seems do many of the show’s viewers. Although quite obviously one of the weaker singers, he was not even in the bottom three in the first live show. I fear he may do very well in the competition, echoing the performance of last year’s double act John and Edward who lasted way longer than they should have. He is clearly a great laugh, has a good sense of humour and is definitely great entertainment, so if he were to hit the West End I think he could make a great Thénardier in Les Misérables London.

Who of the contestants do you think could cut it in a top West End show and in which role? Please comment in the box below.

Congratulations! After quitting your job (isn’t teaching supposed to be a vocation?), you’ve ended up fourth on The X Factor. Your exceptional ability to open your mouth very wide and bellow a melody line that in no way resembles the original (sorry, “make the song your own”) has won you legions of fans, who are already very excited indeed at your tenuous hint that you might fancy a foray on to the West End stage.

Admittedly, it’s a very vague suggestion, centring on your admiration for last year’s roller-skate-wearing, claw-hand-waving, diva-palely-imitating Diana Vickers, who also left the competition prior to the final. But do you really think you’re equipped for the West End?

We already know that you’re very down-to-earth; Simon Cowell reminded us enough times. But just in case you forget yourself and allow your rapid rise to fame to inflate your ego, remember that theatreland is no place for budding prima donnas. That’ll be knocked out of you soon enough when you’re made to rehearse a dance routine a dozen times in a row without breaks, or when you’re told that you have to do your own make-up rather than having a fawning team of Syco minions to satisfy your whims, or when you’re offered a flat Equity minimum fee to do high profile but off-West End work (Olivier Award-winners do it – you’ll have to as well).

Oh, and that casual disregard for music as it is written? Yeah, that’ll have to go. Even those famously riffing Elphabas have to stick to the tune by and large.

Having said that, your voice certainly has power. Get some decent coaching and begin to differentiate between “volume” and “emotion”, you could do quite well. What do you fancy? Do you think you could make a decent Billy Flynn? Or do you yearn after some hefty self-irony by appearing in the talent show-mockery of We Will Rock You?

Still, good luck with it all. People often think that musical theatre is a closed shop and cliquey, and it’s really not. It just has a funny way of brutally highlighting who has genuine talent. If you do – and I mean proper talent, not the X Factor version of it, hidden behind the Brian Friedman gloss – you will soon find out.

Merry Christmas!

All the best,

Carrie.

As you no doubt know, X Factor’s Diana is coming to the West End in The Rise and Fall of Little Voice, and an old debate about the West End and reality television has been reignited.

I can’t help but point out that mixing reality television with the theatre has had quite a positive effect on the West End. In fact, it’s genius.

A whole new generation of theatregoers have been drawn to theatreland by the performances of those plucky little wannabes whose progress they’ve followed so faithfully on the telly.

Hollywood actor and Old Vic theatre artistic director, Kevin Spacey, actually complained that reality shows give an unfair advantage to some of the musicals, if that’s not proof that the format is working I don’t know what is.

Yet for some reason the casting of Diana Vickers has attracted more scorn and debate than Ray Quinn’s casting in Grease the musical, Rachel Tucker’s casting in We Will Rock You or Daniel Boys’ in Avenue Q.

Perhaps it’s because she’s from the X Factor? During the X Factor, Vickers faced a lot of criticism and was called everything from a “yodelling Barbie” to “the one to beat” (by Simon Cowell), came under scrutiny for missing a show due to illness and shortly after being photographed out having a gay old time with some pals. Add to that her relationship with Eoghan Quigg (another X Factor contestant) and you have a name that draws quite a bit of attention.

Some (the theatre purists) recoil at the very mention of a reality TV personality appearing on the stage. In 2007 Susan McFadden and Danny Bayne, winners of Grease Is The Word were slammed by critics who said that their performances lacked “sincerity and sex appeal” while the supporting cast comprised of real actors received rather more favourable reviews. These opinions are often not reflected in the comments of audience members who are not regular theatre-goers. This makes me question whether the professionals are being less than fair and producing petty reviews, and as a result I’ve decided to take them with a pinch of salt.

The hilarious thing is that television has revived the theatre. These shows bring the theatre back to the hearts of the people and reminds them what it is all about. Stories like those of Diana, of a girl realising her dreams and becoming a star, are inspiring.

Unfortunately there will always be some who struggle to accept that reality TV fame is legitimate fame. Just look at Diana’s following on Facebook to see how she’s touched the hearts of a nation. People’s problem with these reality TV types seems to be more often about where they came from rather than their actual ability.

It makes you wonder if the problem is that theatre types object to a new form of competition, competition from people who ordinarily would never sing publicly. An argument regularly employed by theatre purists and critics is that there are lots of actors who are out of work who are being overlooked for parts because of these shows. A wonderful and cute excuse, but the truth is a lot of the people who take part in these reality shows are trained actors who have been given a chance to shine early on in their careers (examples include Ray Quinn and Diana).

This debate isn’t really about talent or about actors. It’s about keeping theatre traditions pure, it would appear that purists think that television is dirty or unworthy – they believe in separation: there is theatre and there is television and never the twain shall meet.

I say to hell with it, Diana Vickers is welcome in the West End, I’ll see her in Little Voice and I imagine I’ll probably like it.

Due to this boredom I’m ditching Boylewatch and having a look at the other folk who put in decent West End-inspired performances on Britain’s Got Talent. So, lets take a little peek at a few of the talented folk who haven’t been invited onto Oprah, yet.

First off is little Callum Francis; a young man who is so West End it actually hurts a little bit. Look at his little face! He put in a charming (if a touch generic) performance of Consider Yourself complete with thigh-slapping and the correct hat. Fair enough, the performance is not going to set the world alight but Francis would most certainly fit right in with Gwion Wyn Jones, Harry Stott and the other official Olivers.

Admittedly, Francis is probably not going to win the show, but I’m willing to bet we’ll be seeing more of him after Britain’s Got Talent has been put to bed for the year.

Next up, another Britain’s Got Talent ‘underdog’. Presenting Mr Jamie Pugh! Apparently Pugh “drives a van by day and delivers pizza by night” and was described by Ant & Dec as “the most nervous contestant we’ve ever had”. He’s also Welsh.

I particularly like the “by night” part. Years spent watching cartoons and reading comics have caused my brain to immediately think SUPERHERO whenever it hears that lovely mysterious phrase.

It remains unclear if Pugh fights crime while he delivers his tasty cargo, but what is clear is that he can belt out a pretty good version of Bring Him Home from Les Mis.

So, there are two perfectly good contestants, both of whom did West Endy stuff, both of whom stand a fair chance of winning. Admittedly plucky wee Francis is more likely to appear in a musical in the next couple of months than actually win but Mr Pugh, he’s a contender. Perhaps him and Susan Boyle could do a duet, perhaps A Whole New World from Aladdin (you may also remember Peter and Katie’s version, if so, I pity you).

Rambling aside, I just really wanted to highlight one simple point – Susan Boyle has not won yet!

Susan Boyle was referenced in a recent episode of South Park entitled, Fatbeard. What they said was not exactly complimentary so I’ll refrain from posting it here, Google at your own risk.

• She’s had her hair and eyebrows done (see picture)

• The Daily Mail has ALREADY begun it’s “We thought you wouldn’t change, Susan Boyle” campaign on the basis of the new hairdo. Nice Daily Mail, real nice.

• Shaheen Jafargholi is being touted as her main rival. If you don’t remember him he’s the young lad who put in a lamentable performance of Valerie which incidentally was originally by The Zutons, not hungry-looking drug-vacuum, Amy Winehouse.

• Turns out Ms Boyle HAS been kissed, although the identity of the kisser remains a mystery.

• She has pledged to “sort out my dress sense and my weight”

• Her online video hits have apparently hit 100 million. (I heard if they get to 200 million it will break the internet.) Interestingly that’s 80 million more hits than Obama’s inauguration speech, which is slightly worrying.

• Simon Cowell has apparently said he will produce a movie based on Boyle’s life if one is ever made. (No word yet as to who will play her cat)

• Finally, and perhaps most shockingly, Boyle has been compared to Jesus by Reverend Tilby from Cambridge.

Well there we are, the best bits, the highlights if you will. Anyone else thinking that perhaps this has gone a bit too far now? She’s good but she’s not the Messiah.

If you fancying seeing just what I Dreamed A Dream looks like on stage we have Les Miserables London breaks available from £114 per person.