Goldblum Coming To The West End, Dinosaurs Sadly Not Involved
Published on Friday 28th May, 8.28am, Written by Jonathan Dudley
Jeff Goldblum is to star in The Prisoner of Second Avenue alongside Mercedes Ruehl (who Google tells me was in Gia and The Fisher King).
The Hollywood stars are to play the leading roles in the production which will be brought to the West End’s Vaudeville Theatre by Kevin Spacey’s Old Vic Theatre Company.
Oh Goldblum, why do you turn your back on your dino-pals?
As interesting as this news is, I have to admit to being a little bit disappointed. I’d always hoped that Goldblum would come to the West End to appear in a stage adaptation of Jurassic Park. It’s not that unlikely; Ghost is coming to the West End soon and that hardly stands out as the ideal choice for a stage adaptation.
To see if Goldblum made the right decision, let’s compare the plots of The Prisoner of Second Avenue and Jurassic Park.
A black comedy set in 1970s New York, The Prisoner of Second Avenue is the story of an urban couple facing the everyday challenges of city life. Mel (Goldblum) is made redundant which, combined with a national economic crisis and the hectic nature of city living, causes him to have a nervous breakdown. His family gather round and Edna (Ruehl) silently carries the burden of her husband’s self pity.
Uplifting stuff, I’m sure you’ll agree. Now, onto Jurassic Park (I’m using the film).
On a remote island, a wealthy (and slightly unhinged) businessman secretly creates a theme park/zoo featuring actual, living dinosaurs created using dino blood found in a mosquito encased in amber. Before he opens his attraction to the public he invites a palaeontologist, a paleobotanist, a mathematician (Goldblum) and his two grandchildren (we can probably write the kids out) to check the place out.
Chaos erupts when security systems are compromised by a fatty with poor clutch control and lacklustre corporate espionage skills. Aforementioned porker attempts to steal dinosaur embryos only to crash his jeep and get his face eaten off by awesome (though sadly fictionalised) venom-spitting killer dinosaurs. Shenanigans ensue as the survivors try to reactivate the security systems and nobody has to carry the burden of anyone else’s self pity, except maybe one of the defeated velociraptors at the end.
I think it’s pretty fair to say that Goldblum should have held out for Jurassic Park. Sorry Kevin Spacey.
