Over The Rainbow: Week Five
Published on Wednesday 28th April, 2.28pm, Written by Mike Shaw
The producers of Over The Rainbow are continuing their relentless mission to appeal to the lowest common denominator so week five heralded the start of the sob stories.
There is nary a whiff of a showtune, delusional people show off their stupid dogs, and now the sub-X Factor sob stories are being rolled out. This week we found out that Jenny used to carry a bit of weight and Lauren grew up with hearing problems and a pushy mum. I know – I was surprised too. Nothing about her gives of that vibe *at all.*
It's all over for Emilie
After the usual introductory group performance where host Graham Norton pretended to play an instrument (this time it was a flute – I can’t wait to see what he uses next week as an excuse to mug at the camera, perhaps a bassoon) it was time for the solo songs.
Jenny was first, singing Duffy’s Warwick Avenue, which was passable, but ultimately dull. The producers must have decided to eschew songs from, y’know, actual musicals for a reason, and the only one I can think of is so that they have more well-known songs to choose from each week. Like it or not, the number of songs from shows that are familiar to the general public are few, and if Over The Rainbow contestants only sang things that had appeared on stage that the man-on-the-street could hum along to, we would already be on our third cycle of Memories – and no one wants that.
Anyway, if that’s the reasoning, then pick some decent songs! No one likes Warwick Avenue, not even Duffy. It’s rubbish.
Next was Emilie was took Girls Just Want to Have Fun and killed it dead. Not even John Partridge was complimentary about it, although kudos to Emilie for not crying during the judges’ comments – which were uniformly negative and pretty much boiled down to: “You’re just not good enough.”
Stephanie was up next and did a good job with Nobody Does It Better from The Spy Who Loved Me, but was nothing compared to this:
Lauren then sang something by Pink (apparently) and again, it was alright, but it’s still hard to warm to her – she looks terminally smug all the time which isn’t the most endearing of qualities.
The next pair of singers were Sophie and Jessica and both were cursed with songs that were far too low for them. Of course, the contestants should be tested, but if they just can’t get that low then a different song should have been picked or the musical director should have changed the key for them. Anyway, Sophie’s solo was Sara Bareilles’ Love Song which was pretty awful. As well as the vocals being off, her acting consisted entirely of raising her palms skywards in frustration/confusion/hunger(?) and it was clear that she was destined for the bottom two.
Jessica had something by Faith Hill and finally managed to keep her facial expressions in check, and although her performance wasn’t great, it was good enough to keep her in the game for another week.
The final two were Danielle and Steph – my personal favourites. After last week’s appearance in the bottom two, Danielle had Cry Me A River and really had to pull it out of the bag which thankfully she managed. The 18-year-old has a kind of sad beauty about her which added to her performance, although the styling let her down a bit – I can see what the wardrobe people were going for, but she ended up looking a little bit like a young woman wearing one of her mum’s old dresses.
See The Wizard of Oz for yourself!
Steph was landed with Use Somebody by the Kings of Bloody Leon and some daft choreography which meant she started the song lying on her back, but again her natural charisma came to the fore and ensured she wasn’t in any danger. If Steph isn’t in the final, I’ll be very, very surprised.
The not-live results show delivered the standard medley which Graham insists on calling a ‘mash-up’. This week it was Lady Gaga inspired, and was as naff as you would expect it to be.
The previous night, all the right-thinking people watching the show while Tweeting the rest of the folk on delcared that Sophie and Emilie deserved to be in the bottom two, so it came as quite a shock when the bottom two turned out to be… Sophie and Emilie. Have the British public finally understood that you’re not meant to vote for the ones they didn’t like? Perhaps there’s hope for the nation after all.
Faced with I Know Him So Well, Sophie smashed Emilie all over the place. Against anyone else, the Welsh redhead would have been out, but with Emilie up against her, it was like watching Kerry Ellis in a sing off against Kerry Katona.
Andrew Lloyd Webber swiftly made the right decision and finally cut Emilie loose, who summed up her Dorothy lifespan when she blew the final note on her farewell performance of Over The Rainbow. Once again however, got to give her a nod for not crying like a great big baby when the axe fell and her rival Dorothys were doing their best to cry on camera and show that even though they’re in competition with each other, they’re – like – totally BFFs.
That said, I’m still glad she’s gone.
We’ll be live Tweeting again next Saturday at www.twitter.com/westendupdates from 7.10pm. See you there.
Best Dorothy of the week: Stephanie
Told you Stephanie was the one to watch!
These blogs are brilliant. Mike Shaw, you deserve to be in a national.