The Most Irritating Characters In Musical Theatre
Published on Tuesday 6th October, 2.14pm, Written by Carrie Dunn
I was reading a web forum discussion this week about Les Miserables London and people’s dream casting, and somebody made the point that making Cosette even tolerable is a huge achievement, because she’s one of the most underwritten characters in musical theatre.
And indeed, this is undeniable. But Cosette isn’t exactly a void — she’s whiny (though that might just be because of how high she sings), vain and selfish (is she at all bothered about her Papa disappearing before her wedding? Does she enquire about Eponine’s fate?) And yet we’re presumably supposed to like her, at least a little bit.
A friend of mine maintains that Fantine is more annoying than Cosette — obviously the annoyingness is genetic. However, I maintain that at least Fantine has the excuse of having syphilis, making her increasingly incoherent.
So I’ve been racking my brains to think of other supposed heroes or heroines of musical theatre who are actually irritating or just plain awful…
Raoul Phantom of the Opera London
He goes bounding in to Christine’s dressing room, having not been in touch with her for about a decade, but now she’s grown-up and looking quite passable, he’s interested again. Because he’s rich, that gives him the right to boss her about and tell her what to do (let’s leave aside the fact that Christine’s a bit pathetic herself until about two-thirds of the way through the first act); his cunning plan leaves his fiancee in the clutches of a crazed serial killer, and yet your sympathies are still with the murderer, because Raoul is just so impossibly, boringly weak-chinned and dull.
Jean-Michel (La Cage Aux Folles)
This is one of the biggest questions in theatre: is there a single actor in the world who will ever be able to make Jean-Michel anything other than a spoilt, ungrateful, cruel narcissist?
He sneaks into his parental home after what is presumably a lengthy absence, declares he’s getting married, and informs his father that his beloved and her parents will be visiting presently. Oh, and his father’s partner has to get out immediately because the in-laws-to-be won’t approve. Even his fiancee Anne, a total cipher of a character, shows more affection for her soon-to-be in-laws than Jean-Michel does for either of the men who brought him up.
Ellen (Miss Saigon)
I suspect Messrs Boublil, Schonberg and Maltby were well aware how irritating Chris’s new wife would be to audiences — the cheerful, pretty, devoted all-American wife who keeps our hero and our heroine apart.
Even as a kid seeing the show for the first time, the desperate attempts to make her sympathetic were clangingly obvious — changing the confrontational “Her Or Me” to “Now That I’ve Seen Her”, and, in the midst of her impassioned declaration of her commitment to keeping her husband away from Kim’s clutches, inserting the plaintive line, “I don’t hate this girl, even so.” Funny way of showing it, Ellen, with your total disregard for her feelings and overwhelming jealousy of your husband’s former lover. I’m not saying either are unjustified; but in terms of connecting with a character on stage, it makes it impossible.
Oh, and EVERYONE in Rent.
Get a blinkin’ job, all of you. Grow up. Pay your bills. Bohemia is all well and good, as is artistic integrity (yes, I’m talking to you, Mr Mark “I’m too good for Buzzline” Cohen), but you can’t live off your friends and your parents all your lives. Go and stack shelves or something.
Who have I missed? Who are the most irritating characters in musical theatre?
Tagged as: annoying musical characters, la cage aux folles, les miserables, phantom of the opera, phantom of the opera london
I’m sorry but I have disagree with the comment on the characters from rent, each one of them is unique and compelling. It’s not the fact that they are bohemian or broke, it’s that the most expenisve thing they own is love and friendship, it’s a untouchable thing that is priceless