Theatreland Mourns Jackson With Dignity, Rest Of World Seemingly Insane
Published on Wednesday 8th July, 11.25am, Written by Jonathan Dudley
Don’t get me wrong, ladies and gents. I have, on occasion, enjoyed the music of Michael Jackson. I was even mildly sad when I heard the news of his death just as I was sad when I heard the recent news of Pina Bausch passing away.
What I’m struggling with is the hysteria; the contrived outpouring of scripted grief that now accompanies every mention of the King of Pop. Surely such a great performer deserves a dignified send-off, not this deplorable media circus?
In theatreland we do things properly, Thriller – Live marked the funeral of the King of Pop by dimming the lights, making a few speeches and holding a minute’s silence. Trevor Nunn penned a gloriously honest and eloquent little piece on his memories of Jackson for the Times and Jacko coverage in The Stage was comprehensive but not overwhelming.
While theatrical types handle this sad event with an understated dignity, the rest of the world has seemingly gone stark raving bonkers. Legions of born-again Jackson fans descended on makeshift shrines and memorials around the world. Some wore black veils and sobbed uncontrollably into their hands with what seemed to be genuine, gut-wrenching grief.
Rumours ranging from the odd but plausible to the downright libellous have been doing the rounds on the internet. Twitter is, predictably, a hotbed of Jackson rumours and chatter.
To highlight just how out of hand this idolatry has gone I’ve taken it upon myself to gather up some of the most shocking, melodramatic or ridiculous tweets, blogs and internet titbits that followed the demise of Michael Jackson, a performer par excellence, even in death.
1) Shocking – The Jackson Suicides
Sky News quoted Gary Taylor, owner and president of Michael Jackson fansite, MJJcommunity.com saying that 12 heartbroken fans have committed suicide following Jackson’s death. Jesse Jackson, a civil rights activist and long-time friend of Jackson’s posted a YouTube video in response to the suicides urging fans not to “self-destruct”.
2) Questionable – Michael Jackson will be “buried without his brain”
Given that it was reported in the good old Guardian I’m not sure what to make of this one but apparently Jackson will be buried in his lavish golden casket sans brain. This is apparently so tests can be carried out but I can’t help but imagine the whole sentient brain in a jar situation.
3) Ridiculous – The eBay rush
Tickets for the memorial apparently appeared on eBay for literally millions of dollars. One audacious chap was even selling print outs of the confirmation email he received saying he was to receive tickets. He was not selling anything that would actually get you into the service, just a piece of paper saying that a random man you’ve never met would be going. The item was spun as “a piece of history” and has unsurprisingly been removed.
4) Preposterous – The “ghost”
No doubt most of you have seen the video by now (if not, it’s at the bottom of this post). A vague shadow flits across a corridor in the now deserted Neverland Ranch and KAPOW! It’s the ghost of Michael Jackson. People are claiming it moonwalked, it had the outline of his hairdo/wig, it was unmistakably and without doubt a fragment, an echo of a lost artistic genius.
Except it wasn’t, was it? It was a shadow, I can make a brilliant shadow shaped like a T-Rex if given a torch and a dark room. Just because my shadow looks sort of like a dinosaur, it does not make it the ghost of a dinosaur. That’s not how shadows work…
5) Melodramatic – The mourning tweets
I’m going to sample a few of the tweets I’ve spotted over the last few days. I’m not going to name the tweeters and I’m not going to pass any comment other than the following: Behold melodrama at its finest!
-I still can’t really accept the fact that’s he’s really gone.
-tell you now, I CANNOT deal with an open casket…I CAN’T I CAN’T I CAN’T *cries*
-You are kind, sincere, and humble. A magnificent work of art.
You will always be in our hearts. I love you Michael Jackson. RIP.
- i don’t think i can live in a world without Michael Jackson. I can’t even imagine that world.
-I am going to kill myself in honor of Micheal Jackson (she didn’t. I checked)
So there we go, I’ve foolishly waded into the great Jackson debate, let the flaming commence!
UPDATE – Lots of you wanted to see the “ghost” so here it is. Ladies and gentlemen, I proudly present a video of something which is clearly not the ghost of Michael Jackson.
MJ’s dna has been stored for cloning purposes. Blanket’s mother is Madonna. He’s still alive and will make a living as a Diana Ross impersonator. He writes for Show-and-stay.co.uk blog.
6) Forgetful – Nobody has mentioned self-mutilation or “Jesus Juice”.
“I am going to kill myself in honor of Micheal Jackson (she didn’t. I checked)”
LMAO! Love it.
I highly approve of this blog post.
Who are you to criticise us?!
He was a great man. He’ll be missed. Love him! God Bless MJ!
Your article and especially no.5 made me giggle. But I can’t help but think I’ll probably be in that state when Madonna is gone [except the killing myself part]
Oh noes! I finished my apple. I am going to kill myself.
The irony that this article whinges about the ridiculousness of the Michael Jackson death coverage, then goes on to LIST the madness and the video that they themselves have debunked on the grounds of outlandishness…
Slightly hypercritical? I think Mr. Jonathan Dudley needs a writing gig for The Sun or maybe the Daily Mail!
Wendy,
The Sun or Mail, I’m flattered! Both such pillars of journalistic awesomeness.
The video was added to the blog by request (which I mention). I’m sorry you did not enjoy this particular entry, perhaps I’ll do better next time. I live to please.
Jonathan, I do enjoy your articles. I realise my previous comment was a little harsh, so I have slapped my own wrists! Apologies!
Michael J forever the King of Pop always in my heart.